Friday, November 2, 2012

A Letter to Myself


              Tonight you are going to have a long talk with your parents about who or what you are. Your mom is going to ask you about the girls clothes in you room and who’s they are. Your dad is going to just sit there and stair at you. You want to just tell them your girlfriend had left them in your car after the football game. Don’t lie to them. Tell them the truth. First look at your dad and tell him that things will be ok and life isn’t all about just choosing what he thinks might be right. Then look your mom and tell her you love her. Tell your parents that the clothes are yours and you hate wearing boys’ clothes. You must stand up with this. Tell your mom that she always wanted a daughter and here you are. Make sure that both of them understand this is not a choice but who you are. You are going to cry and so are they. But stand firm and don’t back down. Tell them you have always known you were born wrong. Take a breath here and wait a minute. After letting this sink in ask them if they have any questions. Then try to answer anything they ask you. Make sure to tell them the right answers that you have already been reading online. At this point you need to be ready to get kicked out though it might not happen as of yet. Tell them you need them to take you to your doctor so you can start hormones as soon as possible. They are going to ask you if you are crazy. Tell them you are not and this is something that must happen or you are going to start taking pills behind their backs. Tell them that if you do this it could really hurt you because you are not a doctor and you don’t know what pills do what. Your mom and dad are going to think that something has happened to you. Of course nothing has but you have to tell them this. Don’t blame anyone or anything on your gender identity. Remember this is who you dream of being every night. Tell your parents that you need their help but that even without that help you will get what you need. Tell them that you have to have this to ever have a somewhat normal life. Make sure to tell them that this will make you a happier person and that they don’t have to worry about you anymore. They can finally stop thinking something is wrong with you because now they know. They will now be able to help you with your problem. They are not going to except this but you will be much better off. They will tell you it is just a phase and it will pass but do not let them push you like that. Push them back and show them you are not going to back down. If they ask tell them you plan on going all the way and having the surgery to finally be who you are on the inside. Once again tell them you love them and you will expect a doctors appointment within the week. Give both your mom and dad hugs and go to bed to let them think and talk to each other. In the morning don’t let them act like your talk didn’t happen and ask your mom when she plans to call your doctor. Get ready for school and look forward to a new day. When at school tell all your friends who you are and who you are going to become. Then enjoy your new life to the fullest.

2 comments:

  1. Blain, this is very interesting. As far as the advice to yourself goes, you did a fair job at telling yourself the best ways to stay positive and calm in that situation. This is a very difficult thing, and I wish you all the best. As you know of me that I do my best at following God, as you know from the Literacy Narrative, I believe that God made you the way you are for a reason. So my advice for the situation would be different, but I understand that you may not see things the way that I do.

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  2. Emily thank you and just so you know please call me Bridgette from now on.

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